I need to Write

Sometimes life gets confusing.  You think you have it figured out, then Boom! karma steps in and decides to mix things up a bit.  

Im a huge believer that everyone, no matter their life circumstances, deserves to find love.  Sometimes it just takes that special someone to help you believe love is possible.  

It took me a long time to believe I deserved love. A myriad of health issues made me fearful that nobody would ever be able to accept me and love me for who i am.  

Eventually I found love with a man i adored, and whom I believed adored me.  Just because we both have significant health issues, doesnt mean it shouldnt work out, if we both put in the work, right?  

Or so I thought.  And yet now I sit here single, divorced, and wondering what life has in store for me next.   Wondering where i went wrong, wondering if i should even seek love again.  There's a part of me that just wants to get on with enjoying life, open to whatever experiences and opportunities may present themselves.  Theres another part of me that feels like "But it would be nice to find love and companionship again".

I understand that i need to find joy in the journey....joy in living the now.  Maybe thats the answer?  Find joy in the now, and dont get too hung up on what the future holds?  

I dont know.